These are things that came true: Being a happy mom matters. It is your own precious life and as always you need to follow your heart and make room not only for parenting, but also for your passions. You must refill your pitcher in order to pour out what parenting demands. Olivia has a ton of needs. But you are doing her a favor when you give her space and time to form relationships with Adam and your parents. They can fill most of her needs, not always the same way you would, but in their own just right way. Sitters, friends, and teachers, will also become important to her in the future and she has to craft these relationships by having time away from you. I also skied alone when I was days past my due date despite the raised eye brows of others. It was good practice for the whole rest of my parenting journey, practice making my own best decisions, balancing risk with caution, my choices over those others seemed to prescribe for me. Balance. It’s not always serene. I left Sam crying at the door many a time as I departed on week long backpacking and climbing trips (trips of this length started when he was 5) — this was hard in the moment, but I always checked in and he was happy in my absence. Particularly for my daughter, I wanted her to see the life she can (and should) have through my example of pursuing my passions, making space for myself in my life. It seems most women have trouble with guilt when they choose to do things for themselves instead of sacrificing for their family. My mother’s entire generation was in a rage over the narrow and self sacrificing maternal model that 1950′s norms dictated. You are setting a norm that should be that, normal. It’s like the oxygen mask thing on the plane, put your mask on first before assisting others.

Cheers, Lauren